What You See is What You Settle For

Summary

In this episode of the Given a Purpose podcast, host Jacques LaGrange delves into the importance of self-perception and how it shapes our lives. He discusses the impact of self-worth on the choices we make, the relationships we form, and the boundaries we set. LaGrange emphasizes the need for healing and self-investment to foster a positive self-image, which in turn allows us to recognize red flags in our lives and relationships. The conversation encourages listeners to redefine their self-worth and to live purposefully, ultimately leading to healthier relationships and opportunities.

Takeaways

What you see is what you settle for.
Self-perception sets the tone for everything.
Low self-worth leads to accepting poor treatment.
Healing is essential for self-investment.
Recognizing red flags is crucial for healthy relationships.
You should give from the overflow, not from an empty cup.
Changing your mindset can redefine your standards.
It's not about being better than others, but better to yourself.
Self-worth influences the quality of your relationships.
Living on purpose is key to fulfillment.

Transcript

Jacques LaGrange (00:01.174)
What you see is what you settle for. Let's talk about it next on a given a purpose podcast.

Jacques LaGrange (00:32.844)
Welcome to the given a purpose podcast where we bridge the highs, the lows, the lessons learned through life's journey and filling in the gap. You already know what it is, new week, fresh weekly episodes. I'm your host, Mr. LA. Thank you guys for joining once again. So like I said in the intro, we're going to talk about self-like perception. All right. And what you see sometimes is what you sell for. And

I know it all starts with like that mindset sometimes, right? And sometimes what you see when you look in the mirror, what you see on the inside kind of becomes the reflection of what you attract. And it also shows you how you really feel about yourself. So a man thinker, so a man is, you know what I'm saying?

What are you settling for? There are so many times I can think about in life where I just, I was just settling for stuff. And it's crazy, like sometimes when I think about the things that I normally wouldn't go for, and I think about the things that I just settled for, I would have never done that if my perception was different. Or if my, or what I saw.

or the value I thought about myself and I wasn't doing it out of a place of desperation, I wouldn't have done it. I was just settling for it. All right, so the first thing that I think that we have to make sure that we understand is the way you see yourself sets the tone for everything. So I want you to ask the question of yourself, how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a high value person?

You see yourself as a loving person, a cheerful person, a person with joy. Do you see the value in you? Do you really, really love yourself? Now, like I said, going back to kind what I said earlier, I understand that how I love myself also attracts things that come into my life. Like for example, I know that...

Jacques LaGrange (02:56.012)
Sometimes when I wasn't too high on myself or if I was in a hurt place, I would then attract people that were hurt. And I'm like, am I supposed to be like the therapist around here? But I realized that how I saw myself, I was attracting those things. Now, sometimes it does work in a way because some of the things that I was going through help the people that I attracted, but.

My point is how you see yourself is how you set the tone for everything. So low self-worth equals accepting poor treatment. Like when you see your self-worth as very low, you'll just, you'll accept the bare minimum. And it also goes back into something we've talked about a lot, just being in survival mode, just accepting what life gives you. Man, I've lived.

a lot of years just waking up and whatever comes, I'll just, you know, it is what it is. But that's not exactly what you wanna do. But when you have low self-worth or you don't see yourself, I used to say a lot all the time, you know, I'm just a regular guy. Like I'd be in relationships all the time and I'm just like, I'm just a regular dude. I'm just this, I'm just that. But once I start changing my mindset and like, yo, I bring value.

I have good character. I'm a nice person. I love good. I give. And yeah, I deserve more. So once I change that mindset and realize that I have a high self-worth, I get higher standards. I have better boundaries. I have healthier relationships. Just think about it. Once you...

Once you get into a place of confidence, once you get into a place where you know your worth or you feel that you give more and you are the fruit that you bear. And once I realized that I bear good fruit and that I have a high self-worth, I can have higher standards. I can have better boundaries and I can have healthier relationships, right?

Jacques LaGrange (05:20.224)
because my internal beliefs, right, drive my external behavior. So how confident I am on the inside drives my behavior. How I treat myself well, I can start treating other people well. I start loving myself better, I start treating other people better. And with that confidence, it starts to build. And with more confidence,

you start opening other opportunities and you start opening other windows and then blessings start coming. And then you take advantage of those things. So we also got to dig deep and think about what are some of those things that we deal with that are tough, right? Sometimes things may come from childhood and past trauma. It can come from toxic relationships. It can come from

social media comparisons, just having low self-esteem. Like we have these false beliefs about ourselves. Like I'm too much or I'm not enough or I don't deserve better. But once we start changing that verbiage, once we start changing that mindset saying, I am enough, I actually do deserve better. That goes back to those boundaries that I'm saying, like I deserve better. Like I don't have to accept.

this low or I don't have to accept this behavior. I really don't. And now I don't have to, when I don't have to accept it, I just don't have to, cause there's a lot of times that we do something, we just tolerate it. And like I said, we just settle and I don't want that at all. So.

We have to learn first how to heal, because that's when the shift is gonna happen. When we learn how to heal, we start self-investing and we shift into our real identity. When we show that love to ourselves, when we pour into ourselves, like we honestly shouldn't. I was talking to someone not too long ago and they were talking about being poured into or how much they're always pouring out. But we...

Jacques LaGrange (07:39.788)
honestly should only be giving from the overflow. Because when you keep giving from your cup and not being poured into and you keep giving up from your cup, you keep giving up from empty. Like when God pours into you or you have somebody pour into you, you should be poured so much that you get into the overflow. And then when you get into that overflow, that's what you're sharing, right?

When you start to recognize certain things, when that shift happens, it's a high thing that everybody talks about now, especially in relationships. When you start to shift your mindset and when you start to recognize certain things, you start to see red flags earlier. And I'm not just, like I said, we use it in relationships, but you see it maybe on the job.

You see things a little bit more clear. When you have self-worth, you set boundaries, and you see your value in yourself, and you start that mind shift, you start to recognize red flags a little earlier. You become less available for chaos. You become less available for disrespect. And you stop accepting just the breadcrumbs. Listen, my God will set a table for me.

And it wasn't just for the bread crumbs. It's for me to eat. It's for me to eat, not just have the scraps, right? And then you start realigning things. You start getting a new self in image and you start having new standards, right? And once you do that, man, I'm telling you it's a sweet place. You start redefining what love looks like.

and how you accept it and how you give it out. You start redefining friendships, right? Your success is based on this new awareness. It is such a good place to be and I'm telling you. And you have to believe and you have to know, you have to get to a place where you know it's going to get better.

Jacques LaGrange (09:57.068)
And it's not about being better than others. It's about being better to yourself and being in a better place.

And then once you realize that, and I'm telling you, you get to a place when you find your person, when you find the right job, when you find the right opportunity, those relationship with those things become reciprocal and it's not draining. Listen, that's where you're at the pinnacle of things, when things are not draining and they're reciprocal. All right?

Your self view, right, is a mirror and you gotta see yourself in a good light. If not, change the mirror and change the words and the things that you say to yourself.

Jacques LaGrange (10:47.594)
Now, here's a couple of things I want you guys to make sure that you do. Look yourself in the mirror or write it down, get you a tablet, get you a journal that we always talked about and say, do I currently allow that reflects a distorted view of myself? Three or five things down, all right? Think about one thing you can start doing today that reflects the version of yourself

you're becoming.

All right, start to see yourself better. Start to understand you have a greater, greater self-worth. All right, understand that what you see is what you settle for. How self-perception shapes your standards. I hope this was an opportunity that blessed somebody today. I hope you guys...

got something out of it. I hope it was a step in the right direction. I hope you have the opportunity to see yourself in a different light, in a different way. Now, you guys gotta do some things for me. Make sure you hit that subscribe button. Share this with people. Just like it's blessing you, it may bless somebody else. And the last two things I need you to always do, make sure you live on purpose and make sure you live in purpose.

I'll see you guys next time. Peace.