Disrespect vs Disrespectful

Summary

In this episode of the Give It A Purpose podcast, Mr. LA explores the crucial distinction between feeling disrespected and being disrespectful. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, accountability, and effective communication in fostering mutual respect and understanding in relationships. Through personal anecdotes and insights, he encourages listeners to reflect on their own behaviors and the impact of normalized disrespect in society.

Takeaways

Understanding the difference between feeling disrespected and being disrespectful is crucial.
Many people project their frustrations onto others, leading to misunderstandings.
Normalizing disrespect can create toxic environments in relationships.
Silence can be a powerful response to disrespect.
Self-assessment is key to personal growth and conflict resolution.
Apologies must be accompanied by changed behavior to be meaningful.
Communication is essential in clarifying intentions and tones.
Directness can be misinterpreted as disrespect, highlighting the need for clarity.
Forgiveness is important, but accountability is essential.
Living with purpose involves recognizing and addressing disrespect in ourselves and others.

Transcript

Mr. LA (00:01.346)
Do you know the difference between being disrespected and being disrespectful? Well, let's talk about it next on the given a purpose podcast.

Mr. LA (00:35.41)
Welcome to the Giving It A Purpose podcast where we bridge the highs, the lows, the lessons learned through life's journey and filling in the gap. I'm your host as always, Mr. LA. Listen, I know, I know. It's been a minute. A lot of people have been like, where you been, bro? What's going on? I ain't had a podcast. I ain't had nothing to listen to in a minute. Well, guess what?

We're back. All right. So real quick, Man, I appreciate you guys inviting me back into your lives, inviting me back into your homes and just allowing me to do my purpose. That's why it's the Giving It A Purpose podcast. Make sure you live in your purpose and just do what is needed.

So in this episode, kind of want to dive into the crucial distinction between feeling disrespected and actually being disrespectful. Many people struggle with identity, whether they are reacting to a genuine mistreatment or they're protecting their own frustrations onto others. By understanding the difference, I think we can cultivate better relationships, improve our self-awareness and foster

a culture of mutual kind of respect. I just think it's definitely important. I've been on both sides of the coin. I think we get into situations a lot where we think we're being disrespected. Sometimes it could be because of insecurities. It could be...

because we were disrespectful before, and then when it comes back in return, you don't receive it, or you receive it as disrespect, but when you did it, it wasn't disrespectful. Like being full of disrespect is different. Like when you are mistreating someone and...

Mr. LA (02:57.716)
you have disregarded their feelings, you have disregarded their value, you have disregarded just their being. And I think we get into those situations where I think people sometimes are always so disrespectful that they don't understand or they have normalized

the disrespect that it's, that's why it's so full of disrespect. I've had situations where I've had multiple things of disrespect and my natural state is not to be confrontational. So like, I'm not naturally going to confront everything.

Well, some people may say that's good or sometimes bad. You know, sometimes that's how you foster resentment or you may foster hate or different things like that. But for me, sometimes I calculate, is it that serious? Is it important? And sometimes I don't need to match disrespect with disrespect. Now, can I be honest with y'all?

And I know you're probably going feel me on this. Let me be really honest with you. If you back me into a corner, I might be petty and disrespectful.

just to defend myself. Because like I said, if you really, really know me, right, then you already know that it's not my intention or my purpose or my first go-to to be disrespectful.

Mr. LA (04:54.678)
Alright, like I don't ever want to.

devalue someone. Now, I'm from DC now, I need y'all to understand this. I need y'all to be clear. Now, we do this thing, everybody has their own name for it, depending on where they're from in the United States. They may call it, or here we call it Jonan and just different things like that. Now, if I'm joking, you know what I'm saying, I don't want you to think I'm being disrespectful. I'm just good at it.

You know what saying? I'm going to go back and forth and different things like that. I don't want you to mix that into this conversation that we're having today. But I mean, as far as actions, like, have you ever just been so disrespected? You almost really just really wanted to cause harm to a person.

And the thing that makes it worse is when they, it may not be the same, but they repeat disrespect. Now, I don't like it, you probably don't like it. But what frustrates me the most is, it's kind of what I stated before, is when people normalize their disrespect. Listen, let me tell you something.

Mr. LA (06:27.82)
You cannot be disrespectful and think that sorry is just enough.

Mr. LA (06:37.912)
It's not.

Mr. LA (06:41.45)
Or I've had situations with people where they're being disrespectful and when they recognize that they have been disrespectful or I feel disrespected, you can't say I'm just playing. I was just joking. Nah, you were serious. Listen, there is seriousness to every little joke, right? I've learned through life and I've heard this

at a young age, somebody told me this a long, long, long, long, long time ago, right? People will always tell you the truth when they're upset and when they're drunk. And then if you get a mixture of both, watch out. And it is so true, I've been in so many situations where something simple turned into something big and then you get in an argument with somebody and then they say stuff and you'd be like,

so that's how you really feel. so you just, so you think you're, you think by what you just did that I'm just supposed to accept that. Or then you realize that you said it and it's either I'm just playing or you come back with I'm sorry. Listen, I know we're supposed to forgive. I got it. I'm clear. Let's not, I don't want anybody to.

to mess that up. It is okay to forgive. What I'm talking about is...

Apologies with no change behavior.

Mr. LA (08:25.794)
That's what we're talking about. Like if you're not apologizing and you don't have any change in behavior.

Mr. LA (08:35.214)
Like, stop it. If I'm just playing, like, there's a time and a place. Like, I like to have fun. Listen, I love to Joan. I love to go back and forth. But don't dish out stuff that you can't take. And then when you're doing it and you see that I'm being disrespected or I may take offense to it, you can't just be like, I'm just playing. No, you meant that. And it's cool. Ain't no problem with that.

But we're to have to handle the disrespect.

And you know what frustrates people the most that are very, very, very disrespectful? Sometimes silence or realizing that you're not gonna meet their disrespect with disrespect or you're not gonna be petty or you're not going to seek that revenge. Listen, I'm not gonna lie to you, man.

There have been times where I've been disrespected. I'm like, they about to get all of this smoke. Like I've had different relationships where I was disrespected on social media and I'm not gonna lie to you. I was like, you about to get this social media smoke. But then I'm like, what do I gain? Because at the same time, I understand that

Stuff on social media sometimes sticks, right? And I could be telling you about something, I could be giving you guys some good things and be like, well, remember that time on Facebook, you like went off. And yeah, it could have been a time when I'm like, yeah, I was just human. But those are the things that go through my mind. Those are the things that stop me from doing certain things because...

Mr. LA (10:38.154)
I can look at it from a different perspective. I can sit back and I'm like, is it worth it?

Like, can I do or match the level that they're on? Yeah, first of all, I'm competitive. I'm either gonna match it or I'm trying to destroy it with your pettiness or your disrespect. And there's times where I probably cross the line.

with stuff, I get it, but I'm also big enough to apologize for it and mean it. I'm not gonna go back to it, because it's not worth it. And I'm gonna, you're going to see change behavior. And I think that's where we miss a lot of things. And I think sometimes where people mess up a lot is that I've talked about before.

is we don't self-assess. Those things are so, so, so, so important. Like you have to understand where you have to self-assess. You have to take yourself out of the situation and you have to actually, where was I wrong? I think sometimes for me, I think that is the biggest part that frustrates people that I may have conflict with is because

I may sometimes move on faster or I may...

Mr. LA (12:12.918)
I may not show that I'm affected by it. Because the first thing I'm gonna do is I'm going to see where was Jacques wrong, right? Where was I wrong? How did I contribute to this conflict? How did I contribute to the disrespect? Did I do something to cause that person to be disrespectful to me?

I have to take accountability. And once I can take myself out of the situation, look at it from a third eye and just like, okay, I was wrong there. Then that's where I like, okay, I can apologize for my part. And whether you feel sorry or you apologize on your part, it doesn't matter because now that I've accepted accountability, if I find that there's faults in that.

and then now I've apologized and I've added the change behavior, I'm good. I'm moving on. It's not going to affect me anymore and I'll be okay with

Mr. LA (13:22.574)
I'm good. Listen, stop going, we're in 2025, stop being full of disrespect. Now there's sometimes you may do something and somebody may receive it as disrespect, but I think through communication, things can be explained that I wasn't being disrespectful. I might have been direct. You may have not liked my tone at that time, but it's not necessarily disrespectful. Like I have to sometimes stand on,

my good morals, I have to sometimes stand on my good values. You may have not liked my tone. And granted, yes, I could have changed my tone.

but it doesn't change what I'm saying.

Mr. LA (14:12.91)
And I'm not going to repeat the disrespect towards you. I'm not gonna pile on the disrespect towards you. So now that you're full, or that I am full of disrespect, I won't do it and I won't allow it.

Listen, hopefully that message right there bless somebody. Hopefully it helps you understand a couple of things. And maybe you can self-assess and think about some situations where you probably were disrespectful or think about some situations where you felt disrespected and you may have to forgive that person. I hope this helps somebody. I hope this bless somebody. So you know what I need you guys to do. Thank you guys for welcoming me back to things I need you to do.

is to live on purpose and live in purpose. See you guys next time. Peace.